I find myself in a season of deep conflict—a trial of pleasures, if you will. It’s a time filled with work that I love, yet I feel its pull, a force strong enough to rival my love for God. It’s not the first time I’ve felt this struggle, but it seems to grow in direct proportion to the very tasks I enjoy, and I can’t help but see the dangers in it.

We are in the midst of preparing our home to sell while also working to make a smaller house livable—a home that will become our downsized refuge. The work is daunting: renovations, cleaning up tornado damage from fallen trees, planning, problem-solving. I love this kind of work, the vision, and the challenges, but I fear its hold on me. It is a sobering thought to realize I can so easily love what I hate—that is, to love these labors more than the Lord of the labor.

This tension reminds me of Martha, busy and distracted by her many tasks, while Mary sat at the Lord’s feet, savoring His presence. Jesus’ words in Luke 10:41-42 echo in my heart: “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things. But only one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, and it will not be taken away from her” (BSB). I long to choose that good portion, yet I feel the weight of these earthly demands pressing in.

I see myself in Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress, where the man, so close to the end of the path, slips into a manhole. This frightens me. It reminds me of Paul’s sobering warning in 1 Corinthians 9:27: “No, I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified” (BSB). My heart trembles at the thought of missing the mark, of laboring so fervently that I forget for whom I labor.

Yet, even in this struggle, there is hope.

God’s Spirit convicts and His Word warns, and for that, I am deeply grateful. I can see His mercy even in the trial. I am reminded of Colossians 3:23-24: “Whatever you do, work at it with your whole heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, because you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as your reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving” (BSB). These words comfort me, reminding me that my work, even the mundane tasks, can be an act of worship if surrendered to Him.

But I know that I cannot continue to run on effort alone.

The Lord calls us to stillness, to lay down our burdens and sit at His feet. Psalm 46:10 speaks softly yet firmly to my heart: “Be still and know that I am God” (BSB). I am praying for grace to quiet my heart and reorder my loves—to allow these labors to take their rightful place beneath the greater calling of knowing and worshiping Him.

Will you pray for me?

Pray that I would not be so consumed by these many things that I miss the one thing necessary. Pray that the Lord would guard my heart against divided affections, that I would find my rest and joy in Him even as I work. And pray that this season would refine my love for Christ, deepening my dependence on His grace and my trust in His promises.

I am clinging to Philippians 1:6: “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (BSB). I know He is faithful, and I am trusting Him to guide me through this storm of busyness into the still waters of His presence.

May I ask you to also reflect on Hebrews 12:1-2 and Psalm 37:23-24? How do these passages speak to your heart in your own seasons of trial or distraction? I would love to hear how the Lord is teaching you to choose the good portion.

---