When two people enter marriage, they are not stepping into a mere contract but a covenant—one that mirrors Christ’s relationship with His Church. Too often, couples approach marriage counseling with questions about compatibility, communication, or fairness, but the first and most important question should be…
Are you willing to lay down your life for your spouse?
Ephesians 5:25 states, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” (BSB) This is not a sentimental love, nor one driven by emotion alone. It is sacrificial, self-denying, and unwavering. Christ did not love the Church because she was perfect; He loved her in her brokenness, in her rebellion, and gave Himself up to redeem her. If marriage is to reflect this, then both husband and wife must embrace the calling to be each other’s priest before God—interceding, leading in righteousness, and laying aside self-interest for the good of the other.
Too often, love is reduced to a feeling or an exchange of benefits. But the love of Christ sets a different standard. A husband is called to lay down his own desires, pride, and even his very life if necessary, for the sake of his wife. Likewise, a wife is called to a love that is steadfast, nurturing, and honoring—reflecting the Church’s response to Christ. Neither role is about dominance or superiority; both are about servanthood.
This is where many falter
The world teaches self-fulfillment, but Scripture calls for self-sacrifice. Jesus Himself declared, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13, BSB). In marriage, this love is not merely in grand gestures but in daily acts—choosing patience over irritation, forgiveness over bitterness, and service over selfishness.
How different would marriages look if every husband and wife saw their role as that of a priest before God? A priest intercedes, seeking the spiritual well-being of the other. A priest leads in righteousness, not with harshness but with humility. A priest is willing to stand in the gap, bearing burdens in prayer and in action. When a husband and wife take this role seriously, they are no longer competing with one another, but contending for one another before the throne of grace.
So the question remains: Are you willing to give your life for your spouse? Not just in a moment of crisis, but in the everyday sacrifices of love and faithfulness. Marriage is not about what we can extract from the other person, but about how we can reflect Christ in how we love.
Cross References:
Philippians 2:3-4 – “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (BSB)
1 Peter 3:7 – “Husbands, in the same way, treat your wives with consideration as a delicate vessel, and with honor as fellow heirs of the gracious gift of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.” (BSB)
Romans 12:10 – “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Outdo yourselves in honoring one another.” (BSB)
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