There’s hardly a subject more vital and more neglected among God’s people than the way we use our words. Our communication shapes every relationship we have—whether in marriage, the church, or the marketplace. And more than that, it reveals the true condition of our hearts. As Jesus said, “For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34, BSB). If we are serious about growing in grace, we must be serious about the way we speak.

Speaking as the Redeemed

Consider how essential communication is to life itself. We can only truly know another person as we engage in meaningful conversation. Relationships are built—and broken—by words. And Christianity, being far more than an abstract philosophy or an empty ritual, demands credible testimony: lives that match our message. If our words are careless, deceitful, or cruel, our testimony suffers, and the honor of Christ is diminished in the eyes of others.

James warns us sharply: “Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to control his whole body” (James 3:1-2, BSB). Those who teach the Word wield a double-edged sword, influencing others not only by what they teach but by the spirit with which they teach it. It is no light thing to open our mouths on behalf of God.

Our tongue is like a spiritual litmus paper—it shows where we truly are in our walk with Christ. The person who keeps control of their speech demonstrates that the Spirit is bearing the fruit of self-control within them (Galatians 5:22–23). Remember the Lord Jesus Himself: “When He was reviled, He did not retaliate; when He suffered, He made no threats, but entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:23, BSB). This is the perfect picture of godly communication.

And yet, how easily the tongue sets a great forest on fire! James reminds us that the smallest member of the body can do the greatest damage: “The tongue is a small part of the body, but it boasts great things. Consider how small a spark sets a great forest ablaze. The tongue is also a fire, a world of wickedness among the parts of the body” (James 3:5–6, BSB).

We see this power, not just in crises, but in everyday situations. Pride stirs up cutting sarcasm. Wounded hearts spill out bitterness. Boredom breeds idle gossip. Miscommunication and sinful speech patterns arise so easily because, at root, we have lost dominion over ourselves. God gave man dominion over creation (Genesis 1:28), but because of the Fall, we cannot even tame our own tongues.

In the church, this becomes painfully obvious. We often handle disagreement well when it’s about trivial matters—sports or weather. But when we touch on real heart issues—values, theology, correction—our communication falters. True fellowship demands that we live out who we are in Christ, embracing unity rooted in love, not uniformity of opinion. As Paul exhorted, “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring glory to God” (Romans 15:7, BSB).

In marriage, the stakes are even higher. Communication breakdowns are often the fruit of unresolved sin and the hiding that follows. Without truth spoken in love (Ephesians 4:15), there can be no restoration, no real intimacy. We must reject both the modern idea that truth is relative and the temptation to preserve “peace” at the cost of honesty. Real joy in marriage comes not from avoiding discomfort, but from delighting together in God’s glory.

Ultimately, godly communication is not just about what we avoid—lying, gossip, slander—but what we embrace: truthfulness, gentleness, kindness, encouragement. “Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building up the one in need and bringing grace to those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29, BSB).

Our words have eternal weight. Jesus said, “But I tell you that men will give an account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matthew 12:36–37, BSB).

So then, brothers and sisters, how does this teaching speak to your heart today? Are there patterns in your communication that need repentance and renewal? Are there opportunities where your words could better reflect the mercy and grace you have received?

Let us remember: the redeemed heart must be a praising heart. Whether through conversation, music, testimony, or simple everyday speech, may we be people whose mouths are filled with the goodness of God. And may we pursue communication that strengthens the body of Christ and brings glory to our great Redeemer.

Cross References: Proverbs 18:21; Ephesians 5:1–2; Colossians 3:16; 1 Peter 3:8–11